The song Three Little Pigs is based on the famous fairytale story where each pig builds a house, the first out of straw, the second out of mud and third out of bricks and the wolf blows both straw and mud houses down and forces the pigs to flee to safety of their brother's brick house. This is where the song picks up and is covered in a lie news broadcast by JJ Jones on Radio WAB. Now cometh the lyrics:

You're listening to WABJ, I'm JJ Jones at Five O'clock in the morning here on middle of, something in the middle of nowhere, I don't know, I'm just interesting, yeah...radio show.

Prelude: “Wolf’s Love Of Pork”)

 

I love pork, to put it in my belly it makes me fine.

I love pork bloody and half-dead, you’ll be mine.

I love pork, wriggling and screaming, “Don’t want to die!”

I love pork, you three little pigs, I’m coming to get you

The siege crisis in Poppenweiler is entering it’s third day. Three little pigs are still trapped inside their brick house and have been desperately trying to keep Jebediah P. Wolf from entering their premises. Currenty Wolf has taken up a position on the roof and may be attempting a surprise chimney descent.

Verse 1
Hey little pigs, just sitting in the castle, all alone when your Mam’s away,
What are you doing there, making mischief, can’t be trusted on your own,
It’s so cold here standing at the door, why don’t you open up for me?
I won’t change much, just a little sprinkle, I’ll make it better for you all you see,

REFRAIN
Can’t come in, you will eat us up,
Three poor pigs with a wolf outside who wants to have his way with us,
And it can’t / won’t be good,
No happy end, won’t be for us, no way, no way,

Although this house is better than the last two,
Straw and mud it won’t stop me,
Bricks are hard but I be coming down the chimney
Put the kettle on for me,
“Oh,” said the pigs, “we’re gonna put your kettle on a giant pot upon the stove,
Inside will be onion and Pepper, turnip, salt and a garlic clove

REFRAIN

He's taking out an apron, it seems like an apron, yes he's putting an apron on and now a bonnet, I'm not sure what he's thinking, but it, well it's a lovely bonnet, there's many pink flowers on it.
Now he's crawling down the drainpipe and standing up straight, what could this be?

Ah yes, ah, he is impersonating his Grandmother I think, and now he's knocking on the door for the second time today as we have discussed it. What do you think is going to happen now?


Now that I’m dressed up,
What do you think?
Do I fit in now?
You’re welcome to your stupid party,
Let’s have a bevvy, let’s have a drink.
You’re gonna need it,
‘Cause soon enough your World will come a crashing round your ears,
Oh you won’t believe it, until your walls come a tumbling down,

The pigs have not been convinced it appears, the door has not been opened and the wolf is getting quite angry it seems. He is now huffing and apparently also puffing. Yes, he is huffing and puffing at the same time in fact.

Verse 1
REFRAIN

It seems the pigs are finally free. The wolf is huffing and puffing and suddenly he has no air left. It seems that the wolf has now died of fixation.